“Pornography. It really, really messed up my life.” Actor and former football player Terry Crews recently released a video on his Facebook page called ‘Dirty Little Secrets’. “For years, years, years, my dirty little secret was that I was addicted to pornography,” said Crews. “It became a thing where I didn’t tell anyone. And that allowed it to grow. And it got bad.”
As the current face of the famous Old Spice commercials in America and numerous TV shows and movies, it’s not every day that you expect a celebrity to speak out like this, especially with such honesty and candor. “If day turns into night, and you’re still watching… you’ve probably got a problem,” continued Crews, “And that was me.” Now unfortunately Terry’s story is not unique. We hear similar things all the time. People who’ve hit rock bottom, spending all their time looking at porn wondering why they’ve got absolutely no time to do anything else in their lives and hopefully realizing that it’s totally consuming them.
But it’s not just those who are caught in it who struggle, often partners and family living around them suffer too. For Terry, realizing this was a huge wake up call for him to shape up and fly right. “My wife was literally like, ‘I don’t know you anymore. I’m outa here.’ and that changed me,” said Crews. “I had to change because I realized, Yo, this thing is a major, major problem. I literally had to go to rehab for it.”
It’s not the first time we’ve heard of a celebrity going to rehab, but for those who don’t have the money what can they do to get out of the struggle? On our website’s help page, we have a 6 step guide that people can follow to start the journey of quitting porn. The first of these steps is to share. Tell someone else about your struggle. Whether it be a close friend, a counsellor, a psychologist or even us, via messenger on our Facebook page. Getting it out in the open will help relieve some of the stress, knowing there is someone you can talk to about your problem. “By not telling people it becomes more powerful,” says Crews in his video. “But when you tell, when you put it out there in the open, just like I’m doing now to the whole world, it loses its power.”
For us it’s so great when someone with such a high profile speaks up like this and says this is a thing. This is something that almost destroyed me. I want to let everyone know that they don’t have to do this journey alone. I want to help. And from the response, it’s obvious that at least some of the world agrees. Terry’s Facebook video has amassed over 4 million views, 62,000 likes and over 12,000 comments and when you read through them you hear story after story of heartbreak and brokenness. “I have wrestled for years – YEARS – with pornography,” says one commenter. “My fifteen-year marriage was destroyed because my husband was unwilling to make the changes that you did,” says another. “Terry, today is day 103 being sober for me, feels amazing!” another says.
For so many getting it’s sober that’s the key, but it’s usually easier said than done. In our recent blog about the NoFap movement, NoFap a new grip on life, we spoke about how a new generation of young people, who’ve taken on the challenge to quit porn, are feeling so good. “Now after 43 days I’m feeling more energy and a drive to succeed whereas before life was just day-to-day,” said one man in our blog. “My relationship with women has improved drastically.” It obvious that living porn free is bringing huge benefits to their lives.
Sometimes the first step of seeking help and speaking to someone can be the most difficult. But for men or women who are struggling and want to quit porn, it has to be done. Partners and family of those who are struggling often feel helpless and betrayed. They can even feel guilty for the struggles, wondering if it’s something they’ve done that’s caused it, even though it’s not their fault. “I did not get help so I could get my wife back,” says Crews. “I got help because I needed it.” “I’m calling on men to be more accountable,” he later continues. “There’s a lot of men out there blaming their wives for this … He has to do the work. He has to want to change.”
If you’re reading this and you’re struggling with porn and want to quit porn that’s awesome. We encourage you to do so before it totally destroys your life. We are here to help you. Jump on to our help page and set into action the 6 steps that we spell out. Contact us or send us a private message on Facebook. We will get you plugged into the help that you want and need.
As for Terry. We salute you. Thank you for being so open and public with your struggles. Getting this out in the open will help so many and hopefully start the restoration of relationships and lives.
Share this article so others can who might be struggling with porn, or know someone who is, can hear a message of hope and freedom.